My 2013 Cinematic Retrospectivus

My 2013 Cinematic Retrospectivus

Posted in 2013 Watch-a-thon, Everybody Loves Lists by - January 01, 2014
My 2013 Cinematic Retrospectivus

The old year is dead and gone. Long live the new year! But before I bury 2013, I shall look back on it, and survey my cinematic experience. Reminder: I count a movie’s year as whenever it’s released in its country of origin. Which is why, say, Stories We Tell isn’t on this list, even though I didn’t see it until this year and loved it with everything that I am.

I had a list of goals to meet in terms of catching up with older films, Criterions, National Film Registry picks, and such and such, and failed rather miserably at meeting most of them. This year, I’ve certainly got to step up my game with seeing stuff from before 1990.

But enough of my hemming. On with the lists! So many, many lists!


Reviews of the films are linked. I cannot vouch that I still hold the opinion I originally demonstrated within them, nor for the quality of my writing in the older reviews (or newer ones). (* denotes a rewatch)

  1. Charade
  2. A Canterbury Tale
  3. The Stranger
  4. Sherlock Jr.
  5. Promised Land
  6. The Lady Vanishes
  7. Justice League: Doom
  8. Head Games
  9. Pitch Perfect
  10. Gangster Squad
  11. Con Air*
  12. The ABCs of Death
  13. Silver Linings Playbook
  14. Zero Dark Thirty
  15. A Place at the Table
  16. The Last Stand
  17. The Gatekeepers
  18. Life According to Sam
  19. After Tiller
  20. The Truth About Emanuel
  21. Google and the World Brain
  22. Stories We Tell
  23. V/H/S/2
  24. Linsanity
  25. Circles
  26. Escape from Tomorrow
  27. Stoker
  28. C.O.G.
  29. Manhunt
  30. The East
  31. Upstream Color
  32. American Promise
  33. Hell Baby
  34. The Way Way Back
  35. God Loves Uganda
  36. Ain’t Them Bodies Saints
  37. Dirty Wars
  38. Kill Your Darlings
  39. Fruitvale Station
  40. Touchy Feely
  41. Citizen Koch
  42. Fire in the Blood
  43. The Inevitable Defeat of Mister and Pete
  44. Before Midnight
  45. Don Jon
  46. Rising from Ashes
  47. The Brass Teapot
  48. The Sweeney
  49. Bad Boys II
  50. Pitch Perfect*
  51. The Perks of Being a Wallflower
  52. The Impossible
  53. Top Gun
  54. Warm Bodies
  55. Wonder Women!
  56. Miller’s Crossing
  57. Scream
  58. The Hole
  59. Re-Animator
  60. Fast Five*
  61. Side Effects
  62. Hedwig and the Angry Inch
  63. The 400 Blows
  64. Fanboys
  65. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
  66. Mystery Team*
  67. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2*
  68. Garden State
  69. Shakespeare in Love*
  70. Side by Side
  71. The American President
  72. Pleasantville
  73. The Dark Knight Returns, Part 1
  74. The Dark Knight Returns, Part 2
  75. A League of Their Own
  76. Wonder Woman
  77. True Romance
  78. To The Wonder
  79. Ginger & Rosa
  80. Wayne’s World
  81. Milk*
  82. Transamerica
  83. But I’m a Cheerleader
  84. Mystic River
  85. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs*
  86. 21 Jump Street*
  87. Safety Not Guaranteed
  88. Trance
  89. Mud
  90. Spanking the Monkey
  91. I Heart Huckabees
  92. Come Out and Play
  93. Thale
  94. Oz: The Great and Powerful
  95. The Place Beyond the Pines
  96. Little Children
  97. The Chipmunk Adventure
  98. Spring Breakers
  99. The Killing
  100. Punch-Drunk Love*
  101. Bring It On
  102. Olympus Has Fallen
  103. No Place on Earth
  104. Neighboring Sounds
  105. Two-Lane Blacktop
  106. Jurassic Park*
  107. Street Fighter
  108. Super Mario Bros.
  109. Frances Ha
  110. Consuming Spirits
  111. The Beaver Trilogy
  112. Graceland
  113. Aroused
  114. Sightseers
  115. Room 237
  116. Pain & Gain
  117. Iron Man 3
  118. Strangers on a Train
  119. Iron Man 3*
  120. The Great Gatsby
  121. The Central Park Five
  122. Star Trek*
  123. Epic
  124. Star Trek Into Darkness
  125. M
  126. Winter in the Blood
  127. Stories We Tell*
  128. Stand By Me*
  129. The Kings of Summer
  130. Fast & Furious 6
  131. American Revolutionary
  132. The Hangover Part III
  133. My Sister’s Quinceañera
  134. The Spectacular Now
  135. The People vs. George Lucas*
  136. Forbidden Games
  137. Hot Rod*
  138. Bernie*
  139. Tapia
  140. The History of Future Folk
  141. The Fast and the Furious
  142. Forev
  143. 2 Fast 2 Furious
  144. Fast & Furious
  145. Goodbye World
  146. The New Black
  147. Four Lions*
  148. Take Me Home
  149. Summer Wars*
  150. Streets of Fire
  151. A Hijacking
  152. Superman Returns*
  153. Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
  154. The Girls in the Band
  155. The 40 Year-Old Virgin*
  156. Funny People*
  157. Hercules*
  158. This is the End
  159. American Pie
  160. Short Term 12
  161. Crystal Fairy
  162. Europa Report
  163. Drug War
  164. In a World…
  165. The Crash Reel
  166. The Act of Killing
  167. Super*
  168. Undefeated
  169. First Cousin Once Removed
  170. Monsters University
  171. Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol*
  172. Love Actually
  173. Concussion
  174. You’re Next
  175. The Goonies
  176. Thor*
  177. Between Us
  178. Back to the Future*
  179. Back to the Future Part II*
  180. Ernest & Celestine
  181. Man of Steel
  182. Much Ado About Nothing
  183. Back to the Future Part III*
  184. Inside Man
  185. Land of the Lost
  186. 40 Days and 40 Nights
  187. Kinky Boots
  188. Boxing Day
  189. Llyn Foulkes: One Man Band
  190. Balls of Fury
  191. Bad Santa
  192. About a Boy*
  193. The Heat
  194. Persistence of Vision
  195. Who Framed Roger Rabbit*
  196. Gremlins
  197. Rocky Balboa
  198. Training Day
  199. Vacation
  200. European Vacation
  201. Christmas Vacation
  202. Return to Oz
  203. Hot Coffee*
  204. Independence Day*
  205. Pump Up the Volume
  206. White House Down
  207. The Most Fun I’ve Ever Had With My Pants On
  208. Turbo
  209. Who’s Afraid of Vagina Wolf?
  210. Valencia
  211. Pacific Rim
  212. Despicable Me 2
  213. Interior. Leather Bar.
  214. Computer Chess
  215. Two: The Story of Roman and Nyro
  216. Test
  217. Clueless
  218. Wet Hot American Summer*
  219. The Missing Person
  220. The Bothersome Man
  221. The Happy Sad
  222. Gore Vidal: The United States of Amnesia
  223. Blackfish
  224. I Declare War
  225. The Wolverine
  226. The To Do List
  227. Cutie and the Boxer
  228. Prince Avalanche
  229. The Spectacular Now*
  230. Sky High
  231. Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters
  232. Blue Jasmine
  233. Titanic*
  234. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince*
  235. The Big Fix
  236. The Long Goodbye
  237. Touchy Feely*
  238. The World’s End
  239. It’s a Disaster
  240. Intolerable Cruelty*
  241. Elysium
  242. The Mask of Zorro
  243. 12 O’Clock Boys
  244. This is Martin Bonner
  245. Newlyweeds
  246. A Teacher
  247. Final Cut – Ladies & Gentlemen
  248. Rewind This!
  249. The Grandmaster
  250. Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox
  251. Adventureland*
  252. The Butler
  253. Attack the Block*
  254. Mission: Impossible II
  255. The Addams Family
  256. Drinking Buddies
  257. Short Term 12*
  258. The World’s End*
  259. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy*
  260. Wadjda
  261. Pitch Perfect*
  262. Balto*
  263. Adore
  264. Coming to America
  265. Trading Places
  266. My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend
  267. Shaun of the Dead*
  268. Hot Fuzz*
  269. Road House*
  270. Zoolander*
  271. Salinger
  272. Insidious: Chapter 2
  273. Dredd*
  274. Muppets Most Wanted
  275. The Family
  276. Thanks for Sharing
  277. The Muppets*
  278. You Instead
  279. Men in Black*
  280. Enough Said
  281. All the Boys Love Mandy Lane
  282. Planet B-Boy
  283. Los Angeles Plays Itself
  284. Prisoners
  285. The Summit
  286. Rush
  287. A.C.O.D.
  288. The Little Mermaid*
  289. Inequality for All
  290. The Princess Bride*
  291. The Inevitable Defeat of Mister and Pete*
  292. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2
  293. Delivery Man
  294. This Film is Not Yet Rated*
  295. Scream 2
  296. The Naked Gun 2 ½*
  297. The Naked Gun*
  298. Gravity
  299. Zero Charisma
  300. A Case of You
  301. 12 Years a Slave
  302. Stolen Seas
  303. Movie 43
  304. Scream 3
  305. Bad Boys
  306. We Steal Secrets
  307. The Fifth Estate
  308. Waking Sleeping Beauty*
  309. The Trials of Muhammad Ali
  310. Escape Plan
  311. Ender’s Game
  312. The Great Escape*
  313. The Last Days of Disco
  314. When I Walk
  315. The Counselor
  316. Last Vegas
  317. Narco Cultura
  318. Jedi Junkies
  319. Jackass Number Two*
  320. Jackass 3*
  321. I Am Divine
  322. The Nightmare Before Christmas*
  323. Jackass: The Movie*
  324. Dogtooth*
  325. Hard Target
  326. Free Birds
  327. James and the Giant Peach*
  328. Philomena
  329. Lockout
  330. A Matter of Life and Death
  331. Dallas Buyers Club
  332. Blue is the Warmest Color
  333. All is Lost
  334. Redemption
  335. Thor: The Dark World
  336. Like Father, Like Son
  337. Twixt
  338. Carlito’s Way
  339. The Faculty
  340. The Unknown Known
  341. Blue Ruin
  342. The Wind Rises
  343. Charlie Victor Romeo
  344. Our Sunhi
  345. The Court Jester
  346. Documenteur
  347. The Umbrellas of Cherbourg
  348. R100
  349. Closed Curtain
  350. Juvenile Offender
  351. The Sacrament
  352. We Are the Best!
  353. Jodorowsky’s Dune
  354. Moebius
  355. Nothing Bad Can Happen
  356. The Congress
  357. Her
  358. Somm
  359. Skyfall*
  360. Say Anything
  361. The Paperboy
  362. Frozen
  363. Burke & Hare
  364. John Lennon: Love is All You Need
  365. The Hunger Games*
  366. Oldboy (remake)
  367. Grabbers
  368. Tim’s Vermeer
  369. Hit and Run
  370. The Sapphires
  371. The Avengers*
  372. Treasure Planet*
  373. Being John Malkovich*
  374. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
  375. Oldboy (original)*
  376. The Rocket
  377. August: Osage County
  378. Mrs. Doubtfire*
  379. Broadcast News
  380. Mulan*
  381. These Birds Walk
  382. My Week with Marilyn
  383. Small Soldiers*
  384. World War Z
  385. Robin Hood*
  386. Only God Forgives
  387. Sexy Beast
  388. (A)sexual
  389. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl*
  390. Nebraska
  391. Out of the Furnace
  392. Inside Llewyn Davis
  393. Three Colors: Blue
  394. Girl Walk // All Day
  395. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
  396. The Best Man Holiday
  397. A Band Called Death
  398. Born on the Fourth of July
  399. Schindler’s List*
  400. King of the Hill
  401. What Maisie Knew
  402. It’s Such a Beautiful Day
  403. Cleanflix
  404. The House of the Devil
  405. Our Nixon
  406. The Past
  407. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
  408. Cats Don’t Dance
  409. The Bling Ring
  410. Drug War*
  411. Seconds
  412. Berberian Sound Studio
  413. Call Me Kuchu
  414. The Rescuers
  415. Gloria
  416. Saving Mr. Banks
  417. American Hustle
  418. Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues
  419. Not Fade Away
  420. A Christmas Story
  421. 20 Feet from Stardom
  422. White Reindeer
  423. The Wolf of Wall Street
  424. The Hunt
  425. Is the Man Who is Tall Happy?
  426. Bastards
  427. Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues*
  428. The Square
  429. The Wolf of Wall Street*
  430. Mud*
  431. Behind the Candelabra
  432. The Conjuring
  433. The Lone Ranger



Miller’s Crossing
Hedwig and the Angry Inch
The 400 Blows
The Killing
Two-Lane Blacktop
The Beaver Trilogy
Forbidden Games
The Long Goodbye
Los Angeles Plays Itself
A Matter of Life and Death
The Court Jester
The Umbrellas of Cherbourg
Sexy Beast
Three Colors: Blue




The Punk Singer
Let the Fire Burn
Muscle Shoals
At Berkeley
Pussy Riot: A Punk Prayer
Evocateur: The Morton Downey Jr. Movie
The Last of the Unjust
GasLand Part II
Gideon’s Army
Northern Light
A River Changes Course
Which Way is the Front Line From Here?
Valentine Road
Sound City
An Oversimplification of Her Beauty
Free Angela and All Political Prisoners
Far Out Isn’t Far Enough
Six by Sondheim


I Used to Be Darker
Why Don’t You Play in Hell?
The Dirties
Blue Caprice
Mother of George
A Field in England
Blind Detective
Museum Hours
Stranger by the Lake
A Touch of Sin
The Selfish Giant
Go for Sisters
Nobody’s Daughter Haewon
Pit Stop
The Unspeakable Act



Zhang Ziyi and Tony Leung, The Grandmaster
Gaby Hoffman, Crystal Fairy
Louis Koo and Sun Honglei, Drug War
Waad Mohammed, Wadjda
James Franco, Spring Breakers
Amy Seimetz, Upstream Color
Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke, Before Midnight
Paulina García, Gloria
Greta Gerwig, Frances Ha
Bérénice Bejo, Ali Mosaffa, and Pauline Burlet, The Past
Julius Feldmeier, Nothing Bad Can Happen
Michael Douglas, Behind the Candelabra
Amy Acker, Much Ado About Nothing
Paul Eenhorn and Richmond Arquette, This is Martin Bonner
Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, The World’s End
Michael B. Jordan and Octavia Spencer, Fruitvale Station
Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine
Miles Teller and Shailene Woodley, The Spectacular Now
Forest Whitaker, Oprah Winfrey, and David Oyelowo, The Butler
Brie Larson, Keith Stanfield, and Caitlyn Dever, Short Term 12
Daniel Brühl, Rush
Eun-Woo Lee, Moebius
Josh Pais, Touchy Feely
Chiwetel Ejiofor, Lupita Nyong’o, and Michael Fassbender, 12 Years a Slave
Mira Barkhammer, Mira Grosin, and Liv Lemoyne, We Are the Best!
James Gandolfini, Enough Said
Oscar Isaac, Inside Llewyn Davis
Adele Exarchopoulos, Blue is the Warmest Color
Tom Hanks and Barkhad Abdi, Captain Phillips
Joaquin Pheonix and Scarlett Johannson, Her
Bruce Dern and June Squibb, Nebraska
Anna Margaret Hollyman, White Reindeer
Julianne Nicholson, August: Osage County
Leonardo DiCaprio and Jonah Hill, The Wolf of Wall Street



The Rain Fight, The Don’t-Break-Anything Fight, The Train Fight, The Grandmasters
Everyone Dies, Drug War
The Author Steps In, Closed Curtain
“Lookit All Mah Sheeeit,” Spring Breakers
In the Thrall of the Thief, Upstream Color
Car Talk, The Old Church, “There, There, Gone,” The Hotel Fight, Reconciliation, Before Midnight
Barrel of Monkeys, Iron Man Three
Tank Battle, The World’s Longest Runway, Furious 6
The Talk Show, Anwar’s Murder Method, “What Screams of Terror Sound Like,” Dry Heaving, The Act of Killing
Don’t Let an Orca Catch Your Leg, Blackfish
Porno Mag Argument, This is the End
The Reunion, This is Martin Bonner
Battle in Hong Kong, Pacific Rim
The Bathroom Brawl, “Why Don’t You Fuck Off Back to Legoland, You Cunts!”, The World’s End
Hide and Clap, The Conjuring
The Shooting, The Hospital, Fruitvale Station
The Burned House, Prince Avalanche
The Opening Scene, Cutie and the Boxer
Following Jayden, Short Term 12
Painting the Vermeer, Tim’s Vermeer
High Seance, Hell Baby
“Horses,” Touchy Feely
“Let Me Grieve for My Children,” Tiptoe Lynching, “I Apologize For My Long Absence,” 12 Years a Slave
Faceless Conversations, After Tiller
The Homer Simpson Solution, Gravity
Pretty Much Every Time a Song Is Sung, Inside Llewyn Davis
Do You Remember the Three Words?, First Cousin Once Removed
Sun-Dappled Kiss, Blue is the Warmest Color
In Shock, Captain Phillips
Samantha Leaves, Her
The Ending Wide Shots of Tahrir Square, The Square
Now You’re Thinking With Portals, Thor: The Dark World
The Old House, Nebraska
“Do You Want to Build a Snowman,” Frozen
Awkward Orgy, White Reindeer
Smaug Stalks Bilbo, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Doby, The National News Battle in Central Park, Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues
Lemmons, The Storm, Infomercial, The Wolf of Wall Street



Movie I was Most Surprised to Like: Crystal Fairy
Movies I Most Started Out Liking but Ended Up Disliking: Narco Cultura, Escape from Tomorrow
Movies Which Were Most Surprisingly Not Terrible: Warm Bodies, World War Z, The Wolverine
Movies the Film Critic Nerdosphere Loved Which I Most Did Not: The History of Future Folk, Zero Charisma
Biggest Disappointments: The Congress, The Wind Rises
Movies the Fancypants Classy Academic Critics Loved Which I Was Most Cool Towards: Bastards, Spring Breakers, The Bling Ring
Movie Most Other Critics Hated That I Liked: Hell Baby
Best Worst Movie: Prisoners
Worst Best Movie: Gravity




The Crash Reel
Our Nixon
Dirty Wars
Tim’s Vermeer
Life According to Sam


Crystal Fairy
To the Wonder
Iron Man Three
Furious 6
I Declare War
Behind the Candelabra
The Kings of Summer
Much Ado About Nothing
Fruitvale Station
The Spectacular Now
Prince Avalanche
The Butler
Touchy Feely
Enough Said
Like Father, Like Son
Blue is the Warmest Color



The Act of Killing

After Tiller

American Promise

Cutie and the Boxer

First Cousin Once Removed

Is the Man Who is Tall Happy?

Room 237

The Square

These Birds Walk



12 Years a Slave

Before Midnight

Blue Jasmine

Closed Curtain

Computer Chess

Drug War

Frances Ha

The Grandmaster



The Hunt

Inside Llewyn Davis


Neighboring Sounds

Nothing Bad Can Happen

The Past

Short Term 12

This is Martin Bonner

Upstream Color


We Are the Best!

White Reindeer

The Wolf of Wall Street

The World’s End



For 2014, I have a new approach to catching up with movies I’ve missed. Rather than set goals, I’ve drawn up a list of 300 specific films that I will get to over the course of the year. Much more concrete, wouldn’t you say? Hopefully I do better kicking these off than I did trying to match the goalposts I set for myself in 2013.

And that’s that. At this point, far fewer people are reading this blog than are reading my articles on my various outlets. I’m hoping to be able to write about everything that I see, but of course, that probably won’t happen. What would be more realistic would be to give this site some more love. So onward to 2014, and all the movies that await!

This post was written by
Dan Schindel loves movies more than you do.

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